What it really is like having kids see the fireworks
Hooray! It is the fourth weekend of July, which is the perfect time to celebrate our patriotism by taking our children to heaven to see the brightly colored dance breaks while we sweat profusely in society. To prepare you for the trip so that the children can see the fireworks, here's what to expect. Enjoy!
Preparation of the notification
For the rest of the year, you participate in a parent's game, knowing full well that you should NEVER tell children that you are doing something for more than 12 to 17 seconds before the thing you are definitely doing happens. And yet, childish dizziness takes over, and you open your regret hole to utter the words, "We'll see fireworks tonight!" that morning. This is followed by:
"Are we leaving now?"
"How about now?"
"I put on my shoes. Should I get in the car? "
"Is it time yet?"
"It simply came to our notice then. You said we would go later. "
"How about now?"
(Repeat for the next nine hours every 90 seconds.)
So you all pour into the car about 15 minutes away, when the trip also takes place in half the city and all their relatives. Have fun trying not to be filled with fiery rage for an entire hour (or two) of “Are We Still There? How about now? Is it much longer? Are we even moving? Why do those old ladies walk faster than our car? "
You have arrived (kind)
Now that you've parked the car for a safe 10-minute walk from where you're hoping to sit, enjoy being eaten by mosquitoes and intoxicated by intoxicated college students, diverting calls to a suspicious salesman's permanent dam selling necklaces and glowing, inflatable hats, small American flags and other bric-a-brac with a 6,000 percent mark, which your offspring will be guaranteed to lose before the sun sets. To buy yourself some time, you accept the sparks of another family lit up in the hope that they will prevent your children from complaining about sore feet and that the fireworks will not be installed until it is actually dark. Then you pull the exciting danger sticks out of your daughter's flaming dust-sprayed hair just before she drops them on your feet, eternally eroding your memory so you never forget that delightful family moment.
The music begins, the children curse on your shoulders, everyone's face splits with excited grins, then the first bright white boom BANGS appears in the air, causing a shock wave that cries babies all over the crowd. It is guaranteed that the child who was most waiting for the gorgeous display over his head will be the most realistic, as soon as the show starts, he will cling to you like a stunning pimple.
I like it
Spend the next 10 minutes kneeling on the pebbles with your back to the fireworks, embracing at least one child while he / she cleans up his / her courage to try to enjoy it from the safety of your weapons. Avoid direct eye contact with all surrounding groin. Take at least one blurry snapshot of each kid in the profile with a glow of fireworks illuminating their faces with their phone, then hear a grandmother who walked in your car an hour ago growled, "Always on the phone, parents these days."
WHY THINK IS IT ENOUGH, MOTHER?
As soon as the children release you from the clutches of terror and finally really smile in the sky, the finale fills the air and it all goes silent. Yes, you've been there eating cotton candy, talking to friends and OhohHours at the fireworks, but time passes when you are emotionally irrational tot.
Reverse: The first part
The walk back to the car is when they start crying because they have to wait a whole year to see the fireworks again and the car is too far away and these kids are over there got glowing necklaces and why is the car so far? WHY, MOM?
Direction backwards: second part
Now that you’re in the car, getting out of your parking lot for an epic drive home, you easily advise kids to close their tired eyes while you post these vague photos on Facebook, as a result, they just remember loudly and fondly every fireworks that exploded. They want everyone to rank them according to their favorites (obviously the most important factors in this decision are color and sparkle). You can be sure that when they enter the driveway, they will fall asleep deeply, earning heart rate points, carrying each of these sweaty, sticky bodies inside and all the way to the bed, knowing that you will do it all next year.
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